Round Two: Simren 1 – 1 Me

If you are up-to-date with the story of Simren and Me, then carry on reading.  If you’re not then I strongly suggest first reading my last post– otherwise you will baffled as to what is going on.

Following on from my last encounter with Simren, exactly 10 days ago, my mind has been racing with 101 questions, mainly about how she views me and my reputation, what she knows about me, how she managed to gather so much information about me and why?

That evening, where earlier I was tormented by what Simren had to say, I took a walk out in the pouring rain.  I needed the walk and that 1 hour and 20 minutes of time to myself, despite the ugly but refreshing rain, allowed me to regain my focus in ‘what I wanted to do next and how to achieve it’.

During my walk, I was totally drenched and I continued to receive text messages from Simren.  Her main concern was that she upset me, which was visible on my face during the get together, and to see if I was alright.

I needed to see her again, it was important.  Other than to make peace with her I had to get her to see the reality of my life, and more importantly to ‘try’ correcting her perception and image of me.  After consulting with a few friends close and afar, it was highly recommended and strongly suggested that I make the move and invite her to meet me, even if it was just for coffee.  Deep inside me my fear was that she was scared of me, of my reputation. I felt she wanted to keep her distance from me and didn’t want to be seen in public with me.

The following day on Sunday, exactly 9 days ago, I decided to text her and the following is our text conversation:

Me:  “Hi, despite what has happened, I think I need to meet you again.  It’s important – can I call you?”

Simren:  “Please don’t, I don’t want 2 b associated with u. Please don’t complicate my life”.

Her text summed up her nervousness and fear of me.  So I decided to call her up anyway and considering thinking she won’t attend my call, she actually did.  The first words out of her mouth after I said hello was “I think I really need to break your legs now”, at which point, the tension and fear I had around how the call will go eased.

It remains a mystery to me as to why she seems like a different-difficult-stubborn person over text messages and yet on the phone, she is entirely approachable. Anyway, I offered to take her out for a drink and despite all my attempts, and all the banter I used, she still refused. Just then, as I was losing hope, I could hear Aunty Jee in the back, not letting this opportunity go to waste I asked Simren to pass the phone to Aunty Jee. Despite Simren’s refusal to do so, the phone somehow ended up with Aunty Jee, and the conversation flowed along the lines of:

Aunty Jee: “Hallo”

Me: “Oh Hi Aunty, It’s me”

Aunty Jee: “Haiy mera putar, all OK son?”

Me: “Yes Aunty, how are you?”

Aunty Jee: “Jee Putar, I’m good. See son, Simren now answer your phone, I told her, she no mess you around now”

Me: “Aunty, that’s all good, thank you. Just one more thing Aunty Jee – I wanted to meet Simren and you for tea, in Leeds, in coming days. It will be good”

Aunty Jee: “acha, but son, Simren go to University and come back late. Esah karo ke tum Simren ko lay jao Unibersity (University) ke baad (it’s best if you take Simren, after University), I think it will be best”

Pause conversation – There is a saying common in South Asia, if you can’t take the butter out with a straight finger, bend you finger to have a better chance. My straight way of getting Simen to join me for a drink wasn’t working, so I resulted in using an indirect way via her mum. This is the moment, when you turn to a mirror on the wall, while on the call, and give yourself a smile. Continue conversation.

Me: “Aunty you sure, it will be good to see you too”

Aunty Jee “Yes, bery (very) sure, plus you joung (young) generation need to spend real time together, not only on basebook (facebook).

Me: “Aunty Jee, that’s great advice – well now I just need to convince Simren. Let’s hope she can make it”

Aunty Jee: “make it, son, she will have no choice, thair (wait)”

At this point, I assume Aunty Jee turned towards Simren and said:

Aunty Jee: “Hay, Simren, you go and have tea with boy, eva na puttar ke tang kar (don’t tease my son)”

I could hear Simren mumble something back – but wasn’t clear.

Aunty Jee, wished me good bye, asked how my family was and passed the phone back to Simren. When Simren had the phone, there was a bit of a pause and I could hear Simren run up some steps and then a few doors opened and shut, then:

Simren: “Is this how it’s going to be – involve my mum in stuff that doesn’t go your way?”

Me: “(I laughed a little and said ) OK, Give the phone back to Aunty Jee – she will sort you out”

Simren burst out in laughter, which added some hope to the entire conversation. We continued chatting for a little while longer. When I asked Simren (yet again) so can I take you out for a drink? She replied she need time to think about it, as going out for a drink with me wasn’t as straight forward, with anyone else it wouldn’t be a problem but with me – she needed some time to think.So I took the opportunity to give her some time. I explained that I’d wait and she could take as long as she likes (just days not weeks).

A few hours later I got another text from Simren, which read “I don’t think it’s a good idea, ur complicated n please don’t complicate my life”. A little disappointed, I gave my reply a little thought. What does she mean by “complicate my life”?  Am I missing something here? My mind yet again raced with 101 questions: Is she already with someone? Considering how beautiful she is – why wouldn’t she be? Is she scared to tell me, in case I pay her boyfriend a visit (which I wouldn’t do for the record)? Or would I be the complication in her life?

I replied with the following text “Simren, one drink, even if it’s for 10 minutes, plus you tea wasn’t that good, want to treat you to a real cup of fine Yorkshire tea”.

Almost seconds after sending my text to Simren, she replied “Really, was it that bad I will make a disappointing wife”. This text was a key turning point in her mentality, although it may contain simple words but it did have a deep insight to her psychology.

After a few more text exchanges, she finally agreed. Which was a massive relief and I felt as if this battle I won. The one thing I had to concede to was that the day, time and place will be of Simren’s choice. If this wasn’t bad enough, she attached the following conditions:

1. I was to pick her up at Leeds Train station, when she returns from Uni.

2. I don’t pick her up in any one of my cars – a taxi will do.

3. No gangster suit – just casual.

My acceptance of her conditions above was conditional – that instead of a drink, it had to be a meal at a restaurant of her choosing and that she couldn’t say no. After a very long pause, which spanned for about 35 minutes, she agreed. I now had to wait for her to decide on what day and time I was to pick her up.

While I waited, somewhat anxiously – something was bothering me. No girl till this day has ever put up such a fight, and with Simren it was just for a drink (well, now a meal instead) and her determination not to meet me, bugged me. Was it really me and my reputation that embarrassed her and was scaring her? Or was she seeing someone and didn’t want me to know?The later was important and I needed to know – somehow without getting this information from Simren.

In the next 24 hours that followed, I called up an associate who owes me favours, my objective was to know whether Simren was single or not, or was it more complicated than that? So, without wasting any more time, my associate sent out his scouts to her University in a fact finding mission.

I felt somewhat nervous and yet excited, my method of gathering information about Simren may be frowned upon, but let’s face it – it was important, especially if Simren was scared to tell me herself.

On Wednesday, last week, my contact asked to meet me – as such business shouldn’t be discussed over phone or any other medium. So I invited him to a local Italian coffee shop that same evening – where we could chat in private and amongst other business he could provide an update on what his scouts reported back to him with. When we met, he updated me with the following information – as best as I can remember:

1. Simren is single and isn’t seeing anyone other than a few lunatics who constantly chase her around and pester her.

2. In a large group of friends mainly consisting of women, she has no engagement with a particular guy.

3. It’s a pretty much a case of her commuting to University, getting her stuff done and then back home.

This was music to my ears, as I sat with my mates in the coffee shop watching the Apprentice – I ordered a round of pure orange juice , to which my friends raised a cautious eyebrow(s) and said “you don’t drink orange juice” and with a smile and a toast I replied “The sun will be out next week”. During this time I contemplated that it must be me and my reputation that really do scare Simren. I could be the complication in her life.

Over this weekend, Simren confirmed that she would be happy to meet this Wednesday and the fact that she will be leaving University early than normal meant she could spend a few more hours with me. Let’s just hope that the restaurant she chooses to eat at isn’t one that is owned by a friend or known associate, or one where the owner is petrified of me – otherwise I’ll be back to square one with Simren.

The sun is indeed out this week and I believe this round belongs to me.

Me versus Aunty Jee = Simren

One of the weddings I attended was of a distant relative.  It was in Bolton and the weather was miserable.  As you may well have read on my blog on earlier posts that I try my upmost to stay away from Asian social gatherings – and I have my reasons.

However, I had a conversation with an Aunty Jee (who is not related, but out of respect it is common to call them Aunty) as follows:

Aunty Jee:  “Puthar (Son), it’s been a long time, where you been hiding?”

Me:  “Hello Aunty Jee, Hiding, No Aunty – I’ve been extremely busy with work and stuff – you know how it is with us young guns”  I’m thinking this will be a quick Hi and Bye.

Aunty Jee:  “Yes, yes, yes, in our days when we were young, we didn’t have all this technology and easy things, like bacebook (she meant facebook) or mobiles bhones (she meant mobile phones) we had to do everything the hard way”

Me:  “I understand Aunty Jee, but…”

Anuty Jee: “You see, today you young generation have ebery (every) thing on plate.  Cars, flats, houses and even ristay (marriage proposals)”

Me: “But..”

Aunty Jee:  “What But but but, look at your 3 piece suit – I bet you have hundreds of these suits but in our time we only had two Sarees.  One in the wash and one we were wearing.  I tell you, there is no value in anything any more”

Me: “But…”

Aunty Jee:  “What but, but.  Tell me have you done shady (married) yet?”

Me:  “No”

Autny Jee:  “What do you mean NO, bloody what’s the problem”

Me:  “Aunty Jee, there is no problem.  You daughter doesn’t answer my phone calls – what can I do”

Pause the conversation.  OK this was meant to be a joke, we call it banter and a sarcastic remark, and oh boy did I ask for it or what.  To be honest, I didn’t even know she had any daughters or at least I can’t recall meeting any recently.  Continue conversation:

Aunty Jee:  “Which daughter, is it Simren.  I tell you Simren is always on Bacebook (facebook) all the time.  She tell Choti (I assume Choti is the younger daughter) she likes you, and Choti tells me – I know, so why she not answer your call – I bloody phix (fix) her.  Oi Simren, Ithay Ahh (Oi Simren come here)” By this point, Anunty Jee was shouting out loud across other people who were seated, “ithay ahh and tell me why you not answer this boys bhone (phone)?”

Me:  “Aunty I was joking, listen Aunty I don’t even know your daughter – I was kidding”

Aunty Jee:  “Puthar it’s OK.  I know Simren, she bloody in her room all day and always in bacebook (facebook).  She been home from Univerbasty (University) for two bloody weeks and I no seen her, she always in labtop (laptop) or listen to busic (music).  I shout but she no bloody hear me”

Pause the conversation.  At this point, I see her daughter called Simren walk up to join us.  I was impressed by Simren’s eloquent walk, and her look (white saree and silver jewellery, with some red touch in it, and did I tell you – white is one of my favourite colours?).  Her look was simply (hardly any cosmetics) but yet pretty and attractive.  I could tell she has natural long hair, but for this occasion she had curled them slightly and she looked beautiful.     I now recognised who Simren is – and the last time I saw her we were much younger at it must have been at least 10 years ago or more.  I felt nervous and I felt my tie get tighter and tighter as Simren approached us.  So as Simren joins us.  Continue Conversation:

Simren:  “Yes Mom, what” with a nice gentle smile towards me.

Aunty Jee:  “Yes mom di batchi (daughter of), ithay ahh.  Why you no take this boy phone call?”

Me:  “Aunty Jee, please listen..”

Aunty Jee:  “Puthar don’t burry (worry), I talk to her”

Simren:  “Mon, what are you talking about, who is he and why would he call me?”  I could see total confusion in Simren’s face.  She too didn’t recognise me and I could feel my collars irritate with the heat expressed by my increasing nervousness.

Aunty Jee:  “What, you don’t know him, hey listen don’t go far with me.  I tell you at home bloody get off bacebook (facebook) and interact with family so you see the real world.  I tell you now and you bloody listen, when this boy call you, you answer his phone – OK”

Simren:  “Mom, are you feeling OK, who is he, and I’m totally confused?”

Aunty Jee:  “Chup karr (Shut up), don’t know who he is.  I don’t want no excuse.”

At this point, Simren is giving me the most serious looks I have ever had in my life.  Having said that Simren is actually pretty and attractive.  I try my best to avoid eye to eye contact with her during the 3-some conversation.  But Aunty Jee, has taken this joke to the next level and I felt embarrassed, ashamed and numb.

Aunty Jee continues:  “Tu Sadah Puthar hai (your our son) and you welcome to our home anytime.  You know where we live now?”

Me:  “Aunty Jee, erm No, I think you lived in South Pudsey right”

Aunty Jee:  “oh no puthar (laughs) that was a long time ago.  We now moved to other end of Pudsey and we have a much bigger house now – you will like.  Simren – give this boy our address now.  Your mom always complains you not at home and is trouble, but she is wrong – you are a good son I will tell her”

Simren:  “Right, give me your number so I can text you our address” Still giving me those serious looks and with a fake smile.  She managed to frown and produce a fake smile at the same time – which was sort of cute but I never felt so nervous in my life.

Me:  “my number is XXXXX XXXXXX, (and at this point the Aunty Jee reaches up for my cheeks, pulls down my face towards her and gives me a sloppy fat kiss on my cheek and walks away), Simren, Serious it was meant to be a joke.  You mom blew it out of proportion”.

Simren:  “How dare you tell a lie?  I am not impressed.  You embarrassed me and this is the last thing I want.  I’ll deal with you later.  Thanks for your number and I’ll text you the address later.  Your reputation speaks for itself and you know what – you will never change” With a punch to my arm she walked away with an angry look (in fact she looked cute).

I thought this was it but then Simren stopped, turned around and said “If you even think about coming over to your house, I’ll make sure you walk away carrying your legs”, she smiled again and walked away.

Dam, Simren from cute turned to hot.  I felt energetic and safe that I got away with it – well sort of.

Around 10 minutes later, I got a text from Simren with the address and a nice little message saying “Don’t even think about it”.

Boy oh Boy, have I been challenged or what.  My reply to her was this

To be continued… but the video somewhat captures the mood soon after:

Phir Mohabbat Karne Chala Hai’ [Official video song] ‘Murder 2′ Ft. ‘Emraan Hashmi’

British-Asian Wedding Marathon Finally Over

..and at last, I get a chance to write and have some quality time to myself.  The British Asian Wedding Marathon has been a blast of a time.

Over the last two weeks popularly known as Easter period, I have attended 5 weddings in 5 days (7^th, 8^th, 9^th, 14^th and 15^th April).  Not just attended but been pretty much part of the organisation of them too, including all the ceremonial activities, often expanding for couple of weeks prior to the big day.

Over the last few years, the Easter period has increasingly proved to be a popular time in the year for families to plan weddings.  It has benefits for everyone.  The kids are off from schools, students are off from Colleges and Universities and most people who work tend to take off holidays during this period, to be with their families and siblings and also to take advantage of the two public holidays (Good Friday and Bank holiday Monday).

As my wedding marathon comes to a close, I feel proud that I managed to be part of all the weddings, including planning before, during and after each wedding, and still lived to tell the tale(s).

Most of these weddings have been in the planning phase for well over a year and in one case almost two years.  It’s been a sensation in watching each wedding come together on the important day(s) and in the end, it’s all been worth it without a doubt.  Majority of these weddings were either relations or distant relations and a couple were of close family friends.

Many of you no doubt will be aware that Asian weddings are not ‘one day’ ceremony.  Asian weddings span over couple of weeks of ceremonies, including singing and dancing, Mehndi night(s), and other ritual events often building up to the ‘big day’.  These 5 weddings didn’t fall short of any expectations I must say.

It’s been the first time ever that I physically got involved in these weddings.  Previously, I would have come up with all the reasons under the sun, for not wanting to attend such weddings and I have explained this in an early post.  For some reason which is unknown to me, I couldn’t avoid them and in fact – truth be told, I actually wanted to be part of them.

Many people, who read this, will be accustomed to the grandness of Asian weddings, especially South Asian style weddings.  There is never a small wedding and guest less than 400 are frowned upon as not being too Grand-enough.

Right now, I feel extremely tired, not just physically but mentally too (including financially).  While I write this post, I have had a strong mug of coffee.  Thanks to Amy (the Business Analyst) who made me one after instantly recognising that I needed one when I walked into the office like a zombie at 10:25.  You may question “what’s the big deal with having a mug of strong coffee?”  Well the reason why I mention this is because the last time I had coffee was in University during my studies and that was back in 2006.

For now, this is all I can physically and mentally afford to write.  Stay tuned as I have more tales and stories to share with you from these five weddings, including my thoughts, opinions and views on many aspects of Asian weddings.

Jhootha Hi Sahi Bollywood Movie Review

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of watching Abbas Tyrewala’s Bollywood movie ‘Jhootha Hi Sahi’.  Released October 2010.

I couldn’t help thinking, much of this movie is aimed towards University students, graduates or early adulthood and getting to know society and relationships.

What attracted me to watch this movie over other options was that it’s rare to find a movie which is based around British Asians, living a typical life, typical routine and typical humour amongst friends.

The first scene of the movie is indeed a very funny and hilarious one.  John Abraham playing Siddharth Arya has fallen asleep on the sofa while watching TV (Typical bachelor) who receives a call from someone who is about to commit suicide.  Siddharth thinking it’s a one off manages to talk the person out of it.  Few moments later another phone call from a different person with the same intention arousing his suspicions that this is a joke and a prank and responds to the person sarcastically.  Later he is made aware that his home number by mistake was printed on a Asian suicide helpline posters and leaflets that had been circulated.

Midways through the movie, I couldn’t help thinking that this movie was trying to imitate popular television series Friends.  A bunch of friend, all of them fond with each other, free and open with mixed relationships.  There are other characters such as a Pakistan brother and Sister living together, the sister is pregnant and is seeing a Chinese, while the brother is constantly engaged in fighting with Siddharth’s girl friend.

The movie is embarrassingly hilarious, with some scenes simply side splitting.  What really works well in this movie, is the constant piss take of each other and the situations they are in.  Something which is typical in everyday life.

Soon as Siddharth agrees to become a volunteer after having his home number accidental printed on Asian suicide promotion material, he happens to meet a lone voice of a girl called Mishka (Pakhi), who simply calls him but never utters a word in the first call.  Surprisingly, Sid (Siddharth) manages to recognise her silence and bring her to talk with him.  They become good phone friends and Sid never tells her who he is over the phone.  They then meet each other in real life, Mishka unaware that he is the person on the phone, whom she has named Siddhartho.  Sid lives two lives, playing a helper to her trouble life over the phone and being a friend in her real life.  What makes Sid appear to be two different people to Mishka is the fact that Sid has a problem in that when he is with beautiful women he stutters and when on the phone his words flow naturally.

On the acting front, John was good and managed to balance the funny side of his character and his serious side successfully.  Pakhi on the other hand appeared to be a little mature, a little old for her role – but I’m not sure if this was intended or not.  But the chemistry worked well between them both.  The chemistry between the friends was hilarious at the beginning but slowly turns to some serious scenes.

The movie overall (for me) is different to the regular stuff we get from Bollywood.  As a British Asian much of what the friends go through is something we would have experienced in real life.  What makes the movie enjoyable is the side splitting scenes which are executed fantastically well.

One song for me which stood out the most was by A. R Rahman called ‘I’m thinking of you’ which I have added a video below.  If it sinks into your mind and you find yourself humming it throughout the day, then please don’t blame me.

Because, the movie is different, and is made in our home ground – it makes it more believable and realistic.  If the scenes were set in any other country, I’m not sure if this movie would have had the same impact on me.

Overall I would rate this movie as 8 out of 10.  A high score simply because it’s more appealing to me being a British Asian

 

I’ll be waiting .

Force Bollywood Movie Review

Back in September I wrote about an upcoming Bollywood movie called FORCE.  That post was written prior to the movie being released.  Unfortunately I never got around to watching the movie in Cinema – due to a busy lifestyle, but as I mentioned then that once I had watched the movie – I’d share my views and opinions around the movie – well a little late but here I present to you my brief review.

Prior to the movie being released, speculation had it that this movie was a remake of a Tamil movie called Khakha Khakha.  Although, I’m not sure at the time whether the speculation was true or not, or if it actually mattered at all, but I don’t think anything was taken away from Force movie.

The movie was directed by Nishikant Kamat, who directed Mumbia Meri Jaan.  I’d like to give him credit, since he kept the movie alive and interesting throughout.  There seemed to be a good balance between art and violence, between a love story and creativity.  Force to me appeared to be a commercial movie and stood strong in all aspects.

John Abraham, I believe executed his role really well in this movie.  At times, when watching the movie, you can’t help thinking that John was emotionless or performed poor in different scenarios but as the movie goes on you understand that John’s character is one of a machine.  A guy, who takes no crap, has no feelings or emotions and he is dedicated in doing one thing – do his duty well and provide justice – be it the hard way if it works.

The female character, Genelia D’Souza seemed a little disappointing.  As always, she appeared to be childish, immature and at time poor at showing a serious side.  To me she seemed to be a lonely character, without her own life style.  If this movie was a spring board for her, to launch herself as a serious character and setting a bench mark, then I’m afraid she failed to achieve this.

What made the movie interesting throughout was the combination of choreography and cinematography.  The blend was good and kept the movie watchable throughout.

The story line was not fantastic but would qualify as good story.  It was slightly straight forward without any twists, Movies like Gajani and Wanted all seemed to be in to surprise the audience but with FORCE movie the acting and seriousness of John lead role was enough to make one believe that the movie didn’t need a twist to keep people excited or entertained.  The romance or love story within Force was not big, but appeared to be a casual part of the movie.  Some movies like Gajani, seemed to be based around love stories and tend to keep the love part alive throughout.  Force was a little different, in the sense that a point was made that love can overcome anyone no matter how stone hearted they might be – but the ultimate focus of this movie was to bring in a gang and provide justice the hard way.

After watching the movie, you will understand how hard John has worked on his physique and on his acting to remain a stone hearted person who knows just one thing – to do his job well.

Overall I would rate this movie a good 6.5 out of 10.