Simren* and I are now engaged.
Our engagement concluded latter half of 2016, or rather the ceremonies did. Other than a few people, this is the first time I am mentioning this on social media, partially because and to be honest, this was orchestrated move to leave it this long.
I am known for having balls of steel. Being nervous, anxious or scared isn’t in me, in fact, where one would be (all the above) I’m the opposite. This did, however, change and leading up to our engagement I felt all of those (mentioned above) when I didn’t think I would. Admittedly, It wasn’t obvious to others but within, I was on a roller-coaster ride.
I guess in truth the mixed feelings and thoughts around “What if” scenarios played on me heavy, such as:
What if – someone talks her out of it?
What if – she finds out about something I don’t want her to know (of which are many)?
What if – an acquaintance, more accurately, an ex-acquaintance decides to turn up and have her moment? I did, however, have the most dangerous of them watched and observed for 2 weeks leading up to and including engagement ceremony.
What if – she suddenly has a realisation that my life isn’t what she can associate with or see being part of?
What if this, what if that, etc…
I later learnt from those around Simren, leading up to and during the engagement ceremonies, that she was too a total bag of nerves and I can only imagine the same “What if” scenarios were running through her mind. I found this humbling and cute if I am totally honest with you.
Despite my internal shit state, the engagement ceremonies were a success and to be honest far better than what I had expected.
So, I am no longer single (errant by choice). Life is different now and I’m not sure what I think of it.
More blog posts about this to follow…