The British Asian Blog

Life as it is @tbablog

Tag: Friday Funnies

Friday Funnies – Part 4

Friday Funnies by The British Asian Blogger

Disclaimer: Not intended to offend anyone but if they do then tuff – that’s just life.

Previous Friday Funnies Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Friday Funnies Number One:

What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Television
2) Telephone
3) Telawoman

Friday Funnies Number Two:

A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds section with the heading “Wife Wanted.” – The next day he received a hundred letters saying “You can have mine.”

Friday Funnies Number Three:

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, she’s been told twice already.

Friday Funnies Number Four:

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it

Friday Funnies Number Five:

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.

You have any Friday Funnies to share?

Friday Funnies – Part 3

Friday Funnies by The British Asian Blogger

Disclaimer: Not intended to offend anyone but if they do then tuff – that’s just life.

Previous Friday Funnies Part 1, Part 2

Friday Funnies Number One:

Note:  This joke was provided courtesy of Aneesa.  She was adamant I feature this joke for her this week, as she has vast knowledge and insight to the culture and life styles of Pathan.  She also requested a link to her favourite video of a Pathan Wedding where a traditional Pathan Chicken Dance (Please reduce the volume if watching in public or work environment) is taking place.

Pathan to AirHostess:  “Tumara shakal humara biwiw se bht milta hai”

AirHostess ne thapar mara

Pathan bola:  “MashaAllah! Adat b milta ha.

 

Friday Funnies Number Two:

Doctor:  Madam, Your husband needs rest and peace, so here are some sleeping pills!

Wife:  Doc, when should I give them to him?

Doctor:  They are for you…

 

Friday Funnies Number Three:

I walked into a Pub and ordered 8 Sambuca’s.  I downed them one after the other, then said to the barman, ‘I shouldn’t be drinking like this with that I’ve got’.  The barman replied, ‘Why, what have you got?’ I said ‘42p’.

 

You have any Friday Funnies to share?

 

Friday Funnies – Part 2

As part of a Friday Funnies theme (Part 1), in which I shared some jokes with you – I have decided to post Part 2 and continue with the theme this week.

Disclaimer:  As usual jokes can offend people, my intention is not to offend anyone.  If you do find the jokes offensive then contact my complaints department.  You may be able to lodge a complaint but ‘nothing will be done about it’, that’s just life.

My intention is to post jokes every Friday going forward, bringing the week to a close with some banter – I hope you all enjoy:

1.  Friday Funnies

Since it’s snowed all my misses has done is look through the window!  If it gets any worse I’ll have to let her in!!

2.  Friday Funnies

A man was in toilet when someone from adjacent toilet said “Hi, how are you?”

The man was embarrassed and said:  “Doing just fine..”

First man:  “So, what are you up to?”

Second Man:  “Well, just sitting like you..”

First Man:  “Can I come over?”

Second Man:  “No no, I am kinda busy now..”

First Man:  “Listen, I’ll call you back, there’s an idiot in another toilet answering my questions..!!”

3.  Friday Funnies

A lady on a train reading a newspaper article about life and death statistics and how often people die.  She turned to the man next to her and asked “Did you know that every time I breathe somebody dies?”

“Really,” he said, “have you tried mouthwash?”.

You have any Friday Funnies to share?

Friday Funnies

Friday Funnies – By The British Asian Blog

Often on Friday (yes, the last working day of the week) I receive many funny jokes either by email or text from work colleagues and friends. These can be really funny and amusing – but for me the best ones are those that are short, simple but yet drastically funny.

So I thought it would be great to post a couple of these here for you all to enjoy, and if you have any Friday funnies then you can share them here too.

Disclaimer: Not intended to offend anyone but if they do then tuff – that’s just life.

Friday Funnies Number One:

My wife and I walked past a swanky new restaurant last night, “Did you smell that food, it smelt incredible?” she said. Being the nice guy I am I thought “What the hell I’ll treat her” So we walked past it again.

Friday Funnies Number Two:

A man goes into a bank with a gun and demands money. Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks:

Did you see me rob this bank?

The man replied:

Yes sir, I did.

The robber shot him instantly.

The robber then turned to a couple standing next to the dead body and asked the man:

Did you see me rob this bank?

The man replied:

No Sir, I did not, but my wife did.

Moral: When opportunity knocks, make use of it…

Can you beat these Friday Funnies?

 

%d bloggers like this: